PinnedThe Celtics, My Dad, and Learning to Enjoy the EndMemory is a weird thing. I hadn’t thought about the time I brought my dad to a Celtics game in 2010 for close to a decade. It was, until…Jun 20, 2022Jun 20, 2022
PinnedSix Seasons and a Trophy — How Al Horford’s Sacrifice Has the Celtics Streets Ahead and in the…I just started rewatching the show Community. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a show about a study group at a community college that gets up…Jun 2, 2022Jun 2, 2022
PinnedThe Museum of Modern Smart — The Subtle Brillance of Marcus Smart — Part 2Alright, I’m back with Part 2 of this 1 (I intentionally worded that confusingly because I hate my readers). I appreciate everyone…Feb 14, 2022Feb 14, 2022
The Investigation of Sam Hauser — Part 1As I light my cigarette while enjoying the soft ping of rain colliding with my air conditioner unit, there’s an unexpected knock on my…Sep 16, 2022Sep 16, 2022
For the Celtics to Win the Series, Jayson Tatum Must Go Back to His RootsJayson Tatum is on the brink of superstardom while the Celtics are on the brink of elimination. Two brinks, which is two more than the…May 13, 2022May 13, 2022
Whipping Out His PP — How Ime Udoka Has Weaponized Payton PritchardFirst, about the title. I’m sorry, I really am. I promise to limit the dick jokes in this one (probably a physical impossibility…Apr 29, 2022Apr 29, 2022
Museum of Modern Smart — The Subtle Brillance of Marcus SmartMarcus Smart is averaging a sizzling 11.4–3.9–5.5 on a “YMCA chucker you hate to play with” slash line of 40.3/31.2/77.8 with a 51.6 TS%…Feb 5, 2022Feb 5, 2022
The Philly Model — Why the Celtics Are on Pace for Fifty WinsIf you know anything about me, you know I absolutely hate saying the P-word. I’ll happily say the f-word, the s-word, and sometimes even…Dec 3, 2021Dec 3, 2021
A Man Has No Life — A Breakdown of Every Nesmith Defensive Possession Last NightAaron Nesmith sucks on defense. Aaron Nesmith’s defense is unplayable. Nesmith misses rotations and constantly gets lost.Nov 14, 2021Nov 14, 2021
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System — How Dennis Schroder Will Win Over BostonI used to fucking hate Dennis Schroder. I mean he didn’t exactly make it easy to like him. Not to mention he was an active contributor to…Oct 20, 2021Oct 20, 2021
Unlocking the Secret — Why Jayson Tatum Must Pass His Way to SuperstardomJayson Tatum is knocking on the door of superstardom. He may be “top fiye” in our hearts, but realistically, he’s sitting somewhere around…Oct 8, 2021Oct 8, 2021
The Richardson Conundrum — Is JRich on His Way Out of the League or was he Miscast in Dallas?Josh Richardson was not very good last season. The Dallas Mavericks had a 6.1 Net Rating when JRich was OFF the floor. They were -.2 with…Oct 4, 2021Oct 4, 2021
15 Players — 15 Stats to Watch — 15 (Or More) Bad JokesAs we painfully meander towards the start of the season, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about specific things to monitor as indicators…Sep 22, 2021Sep 22, 2021
The Round Mound of Beantown — The Quest to Figure out if Grant Williams’ Versatility Outweighs his…This was originally posted on Reddit on April 19, 2021. The stats are a little outdated, but not by much. I think the point still stands.Sep 22, 2021Sep 22, 2021
Constructing the Second Pillar — What Can Jaylen Brown Add to His Game Next Season? — Part 2In my imagination Jaylen Brown is a video game character. Ok, he actually is a video game character because the NBA 2k series exists, but…Sep 17, 2021Sep 17, 2021
There’s Levels to this S**t — Jaylen Brown’s Ascent to Three Level ScorerThis was original posted on Reddit on 4/21/21 so the numbers are a little off, but not by much.Sep 14, 2021Sep 14, 2021
Constructing the Second Pillar — What Can Jaylen Brown Add to His Game Next Season — Part 1: A…I truly cannot stop myself from writing way too much. Spoon R.R. Martin strikes again. See you guys later this week with Part 2, where I…Sep 13, 2021Sep 13, 2021
The #StartNesmith Manifesto — Why the Cs’ 8th Best Player Should Be Their 5th Starter — Part 2…Welcome back to Part 2 of my erotic fiction about Aaron… I mean my analytical argument as to why Aaron Nesmith should be the 5th starter…Sep 11, 2021Sep 11, 2021
The #StartNesmith Manifesto — Why the Cs 8th Best Player Should be the 5th Starter — Part 1…Despite my best efforts, I have George R.R. Martin’d this up again. This will be two parts, the second part will handle defense and why…Sep 11, 2021Sep 11, 2021
